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Healing

Great Things Can Come from Letting Go (and Other Lessons from Infidelity)

01.05.2018 in Healing, Love, Personal Development, Positive Thinking, Relationships

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“Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.” ~C.S. Lewis

My eyes leapt open sometime after 2am and, after feeling the empty space next to me, I knew.

The cell phone I laid on the pillow beside my head was silent, my previous text messages left unanswered. Panic swelled in my throat as I frantically dialed his number, calls separated by no more than thirty seconds.

Checking phone logs and driving past houses at night had never been something I pictured myself doing.

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How to Let Go of Resentment and Forgive Your Ex

01.05.2018 in Empowerment, Healing, Relationships, Self Love

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“I used to be afraid of the pain letting go of the past would cause, until I realized how much pain holding on has caused.” ~Steve Maraboli

Getting over the pain of a bad relationship is never easy.

Even when I finally felt more in control of my feelings, the pain from my past would still spill over into my present.

I would constantly compare my new partner to my ex who had torn my heart apart. Even though I had moved on from that relationship, I was too afraid to fully trust my new partner for fear of being backstabbed again.

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What I’ve Realized Since Being Cheated On

26.04.2018 in Healing, Personal Development, Relationships, toxic relationship

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“Sometimes walking away is the only option because you finally respect yourself enough to know that you deserve better.” ~Unknown

When I was cheated on, I was hit by an ongoing blizzard of conflicting emotions.

There were the initial tears that I failed to hide from anyone. There was a cold ruthlessness as I told her that I couldn’t be with her after what she did. There was a wave of misery, there was a wave of anger, and all of it was dotted with periodic moments of calm and even gratitude that she was finally out of my life.

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5 Ways to Reframe Rejection

24.04.2018 in Healing, Relationships, Self Love

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“When the wrong people leave your life, the right things start to happen.” ~Zig Ziglar

The end of a relationship triggers many grief emotions, but when a couple breaks up because one person decides that it’s over, there is a very distinct pain: the sting of rejection. It doesn’t matter whether things had been difficult for some time or if the split came out of the blue; either way, rejection feels cruel.

At the end of my marriage eight years ago, I had no idea that the breakup was coming. On top of the shock that the relationship was suddenly over,

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The Difference Between Letting Go and Running Away

16.04.2018 in Empowerment, Healing, Love

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“It’s about our ability to leave our death on the battlefield of life. Or having the strength and courage to give them our love and to bring them back.” ~Edward Frenkel

It took me almost twenty years to realize that running away from ourselves isn’t the same as letting go. That realization, as with so many others, came at a time when I was at one of my lowest points.

The day everything changed began as one of the worst of my life.

I was struggling with the breakup of a long-term relationship.

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Why We Can’t Have Healthy, Happy Relationships Without Self-Love

04.04.2018 in Empowerment, Gratitude, Healing, Health, Life Path, Love, Personal Development, Positive Thinking, Spirituality, Stress Management

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“Worry about loving yourself instead of loving the idea of other people loving you.” ~Unknown

Body image and self-love have been my biggest struggles. They’ve affected every area of my life, including relationships.

I developed anorexia in high school after experiencing a number of losses in a short period of time.

During my high school years I didn’t date much. I had a few boyfriends, but the relationships never progressed because I was afraid of intimacy, due to the fact that I was uncomfortable in my skin and didn’t like my body.

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You Are Not Responsible for Anyone Else’s Emotions

04.04.2018 in Empowerment, Gratitude, Healing, Life Path, Life Skills, Personal Development, Positive Thinking, Spirituality, Stress Management

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“Rather than being your thoughts and emotions, be the awareness behind them.” ~Eckhart Tolle

“I don’t believe you,” I jutted out my chin like a petulant toddler. Collapsing back into the tufted leather loveseat, I conceded, “I want to believe you, but I can’t.”

My therapist had just explained to me that I am not responsible for regulating other people’s emotions. My mind couldn’t process this truth.

There were too many decades of owning the moods of those around me.

In my younger years, if a parent was stressed,

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How I Stopped Feeling Trapped in a Life I Didn’t Want

20.03.2018 in Empowerment, Healing, Personal Development, Positive Thinking, Self Love, Stress Management

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“Stop thinking in terms of limitations and start thinking in terms of possibilities.” ~Terry Josephson

When I was in my early twenties I was lucky enough to spend about a year living just a few blocks from the beach in Virginia Beach, Virginia, but you know what I remember most distinctly from that time? Sitting at a red light on the way to work one day thinking: I feel trapped.

To put it simply, I felt stuck in a life I didn’t want.

I had a college degree I wasn’t using.

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I’ve Been Hurt Deeply Before. How Can I Restore My Faith in Relationships?

20.03.2018 in Healing, Love, Relationships, Soulmate

By Celestine Chua

Dear Celes,

I don’t remember how I found you and your blog. What I remember is how touched I felt when I read your series “How to Move On from a Heartbreak.” At that time I was in a similar ambiguous romantic-yet-not-in-a-relationship position that you were in with G, and successfully moved on from it. I posted a “Thank you” in response.

Now, three years later, I just moved on from a relationship that broke due to infidelity and betrayal

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The Problem with Forgiveness and What I Now Do Instead

19.03.2018 in Empowerment, Healing, Life Skills, Personal Development, Self Love, Stress Management

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“Change is the end result of all true learning.” ~Leo Buscaglia

I cringe writing this. I have eaten so much humble pie that my pants don’t fit. This was a really hard lesson to learn.

I had a forgiveness problem.

When I was a kid, I learned to say sorry when I messed up and forgive other people when they did. With three sisters all two years apart, I got plenty of practice in as a kid (we all did).

It was a pretty standard routine:

  1. Someone would mess up—say something horrible,

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