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Personal Development

The Wounds of Rejection Heal With Self-Love and Self-Awareness

14.05.2018 in Empowerment, Gratitude, Healing, Life Skills, Personal Development, Stress Management

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There is no magic cure, no making it all go away forever. There are only small steps upward; an easier day, an unexpected laugh, a mirror that doesn’t matter anymore.” ~Laurie Halse Anderson

It began in elementary school. I was a chubby immigrant with a thick accent and hand-me-down clothes. I so badly wanted the other kids to like me, and I had no idea why everything I said and did seemed to push them away.

My jokes and comments would trigger awkward silences or ridicule—especially in groups. Those moments were traumatizing,

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8 Tips So You Don’t Lose Yourself In Your Next Relationship

07.05.2018 in Empowerment, Life Skills, Love, Personal Development, Relationships, Self Love

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“Never lose yourself in a relationship. Love your partner fiercely, but always follow your unique dreams and desires. Be true to yourself.” ~Unknown

All my previous relationships drained me.

Not only because I was with the wrong men and kept trying to make things work where there was no way, but also because I was a queen of justifying, accommodating, and compromising.

I accommodated men because I wanted to be liked and avoid rejection.

I justified their lousy behavior because I wanted to be in a relationship and not be alone.

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Great Things Can Come from Letting Go (and Other Lessons from Infidelity)

01.05.2018 in Healing, Love, Personal Development, Positive Thinking, Relationships

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“Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.” ~C.S. Lewis

My eyes leapt open sometime after 2am and, after feeling the empty space next to me, I knew.

The cell phone I laid on the pillow beside my head was silent, my previous text messages left unanswered. Panic swelled in my throat as I frantically dialed his number, calls separated by no more than thirty seconds.

Checking phone logs and driving past houses at night had never been something I pictured myself doing.

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What I’ve Realized Since Being Cheated On

26.04.2018 in Healing, Personal Development, Relationships, toxic relationship

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“Sometimes walking away is the only option because you finally respect yourself enough to know that you deserve better.” ~Unknown

When I was cheated on, I was hit by an ongoing blizzard of conflicting emotions.

There were the initial tears that I failed to hide from anyone. There was a cold ruthlessness as I told her that I couldn’t be with her after what she did. There was a wave of misery, there was a wave of anger, and all of it was dotted with periodic moments of calm and even gratitude that she was finally out of my life.

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Are You Really Listening? 4 Ways to Understand and Connect with People

16.04.2018 in Empowerment, Life Skills, Personal Development

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“The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them.” ~Ralph G. Nichols

 

My partner and I were in our first few months of a long-distance relationship. This was a new stage for us and it meant altering our communication practices. Instead of sharing meals and museum exhibits, we had weekly emails and Skype chats.

Every week, I would pour my heart into long, detailed emails to him. I would describe everything that I had done and thought over the past few days.

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Why Letting Go of Your Tight Grip Actually Gives You More Control

16.04.2018 in Empowerment, Horoscope, Personal Development, Self Love, Stress Management

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“Anything you can’t control in life is teaching you how to let go.” ~Unknown

I was growing impatient. I wanted an answer about something and it just wasn’t coming, no matter how hard I tried to prod it into happening. I was growing frustrated. And I was growing frustrated with my frustrations about it.

So I decided to take a walk. The act of breathing in fresh air and hearing birdsong is centering for me. Just putting one foot in front of the other in rapid succession for an hour or two always helps to clear my head.

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Why It’s Okay to Be Self-Centered Sometimes

09.04.2018 in Life Path, Personal Development, Self Love

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“We cannot live only for ourselves. A thousand fibers connect us with our fellow men.”  ~Herman Melville

I grew up with a faith that encouraged personal sacrifice for others. Putting myself before others or desiring what they lacked was sinful. So there I was, during my teenage years, trying to be a saint, completely unselfish when thinking or interacting with others.

I must admit that I was always in the equation.

If I gave advice to others, I did it for them but also for the good feeling of improving their lives.

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Transform Your Relationship by Assuming the Best Intentions

09.04.2018 in Personal Development, Positive Thinking, Relationships

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“Happiness is a conscious choice, not an automatic response.” ~Mildred Barthel

I used to think he was out to get me. The man of my dreams was continually plotting to undermine my happiness in countless ways, all for some mysterious reason I couldn’t comprehend.

Can you give me a ride to work today?” He missed his shuttle on the morning I had my first speech, a forty-five-minute drive in the opposite direction. He obviously didn’t want me to succeed in my career.

Are you wearing that tonight?

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Why We Can’t Have Healthy, Happy Relationships Without Self-Love

04.04.2018 in Empowerment, Gratitude, Healing, Health, Life Path, Love, Personal Development, Positive Thinking, Spirituality, Stress Management

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“Worry about loving yourself instead of loving the idea of other people loving you.” ~Unknown

Body image and self-love have been my biggest struggles. They’ve affected every area of my life, including relationships.

I developed anorexia in high school after experiencing a number of losses in a short period of time.

During my high school years I didn’t date much. I had a few boyfriends, but the relationships never progressed because I was afraid of intimacy, due to the fact that I was uncomfortable in my skin and didn’t like my body.

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You Are Not Responsible for Anyone Else’s Emotions

04.04.2018 in Empowerment, Gratitude, Healing, Life Path, Life Skills, Personal Development, Positive Thinking, Spirituality, Stress Management

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“Rather than being your thoughts and emotions, be the awareness behind them.” ~Eckhart Tolle

“I don’t believe you,” I jutted out my chin like a petulant toddler. Collapsing back into the tufted leather loveseat, I conceded, “I want to believe you, but I can’t.”

My therapist had just explained to me that I am not responsible for regulating other people’s emotions. My mind couldn’t process this truth.

There were too many decades of owning the moods of those around me.

In my younger years, if a parent was stressed,

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