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The Effects of Settling

29 May 2017, by psychictxt in Empowerment, Healing, Love, Relationships, Spirituality, Stress Management

By: Psychic Rhonda

Everyone has their ideal mate in mind and what type of relationship they desire but sometimes we meet the total opposite or someone who may only possess half of the characteristics we want and the relationship works out beautifully. However, there are times when we choose someone who is out of our league in a bad way..in other words settling. You notice right away things about them that are turn offs or habits that you wouldn’t normally associate yourself with but you’ve been single for quite some time and hey, you got lonely. Now, don’t get me wrong, none of us are perfect..all of us have things we can work on within ourselves and a relationship is about two personalities joining together and adapting, but overlooking major red flags and believing that they won’t come back to haunt you can cause a lot of grief.

 

  • For example, you meet a guy who is only interested in a physical relationship and doesn’t want a commitment and you do. You’re thinking relationship and eventually marriage but he has already informed you he’s not and now its 6 months later and you’re hurt that he doesn’t have feelings for you or your “relationship” hasn’t progressed. This guy did nothing wrong. He was open and honest with you and laid everything out at the beginning and it was your choice to take it or leave it and you chose to accept it. In your mind you were probably thinking things would change at some point or that perhaps you could actually change him but that was your reality not his.
  • Another example is beginning a relationship with someone who is already involved or has a track record of being a serial cheater. Again, the rules are already in place and this is a matter of accepting being second choice and receiving the minimum. This relationship works only in favor for the one reaping the benefits of having two lovers. They are having their cake and eating it too(with rainbow sprinkles!) so why on earth would they want to change anything about that? And even if they decided to, guess what? You could never fully trust them because as the saying goes: “If they cheat with you, they will cheat on you.”

What people don’t understand is that whatever you initially accept is exactly what will continue. With the world’s population around 7 billion, there is someone willing to give you what you want without¬† you compromising your standards or morals. You can’t expect or demand more from someone who was only being themselves. They never denied who they were or what it was they wanted. You just created an illusion of how you wanted it to be and got carried away with the fantasy.¬† Unfortunately, we have all done it. This is why I emphasize patience so strongly. The best things in life are always worth the wait. Repetitive disappointment can alter you, your beliefs and your future outlook on life as a whole. It can also bring about depression and put you in a state of mind that settling is your only option and you won’t be able to find better.

Be realistic with yourself and your situation and don’t be so quick to give your all to someone or let them receive benefits. You should be giving to a person willing to give you the same in return. You will be doing so at your own discretion. They are not obligated or liable to reciprocate and this can and will lead to a broken heart. Remember your standards and what you want. It will make a remarkable difference in your relationships. If you are concerned about your relationship, reach out to me today in the Psychic Txt app and I will be happy to take a look at your connection and get you the answers you need to know.

xoxo

3 COMMENTS
  • Maria Rivera Reply

    My husband has cheated before and always denies it. I have a gut feeling that he’s still cheating. I am sad ???? and confused on what road I should take. ????????????????

    • Cheryl Reply

      I’ve currently in a 15 year relationship .we now have 2 kids together .I met him when i was 17 and he was 25 . My mother encouraged our relationship to start as she was his a surety my mother bailed him out on Valentine’s Day put her car up for collateral so he could get released into her custody and remain in our house for one year on house arrest we have been together ever since. He was married before and has 5 year old daughter from his ex wife. He cheated on her numerous times but that still didn’t stop me from falling in love I was 17 and I wasn’t very naive. He started cheating on me when he went back to work after his house arrest was over with. With just feelings and intuition you just know when something is different and somebody you just know when someone you love doesn’t love you the same way or doesn’t even look at you the same way that they did before I could never find proof that would make me walk away I was 18 at this point have my own apartment with him to dogs and I was happy I got pregnant shortly after with my first . He cheated on me while I was pregnant and while I was in labor I took a cab to his work and caught him kissing another girl I was frantic and stupidly snapped viciously at the girl then when I realized what I was doing I turned around and started walking towards the hospital which was the long ways away I like to say that he tried to follow me and take care of me or even care at all but that was not him that was not his personality type. He was a Leo so of course I did the fighting for him when his words with his stuck up attitude would get him into trouble with random men at the club. To this day hes never got into a fight . I stuck up for him every time.. many times when he would get sick I would be there every time. He is one of the lucky ppl that have a strong immune system inlike myself.. I was there even when he didn’t want me to be there helping him I was there worrying taking his temperature doing everything that you would do to your husband if he was ill because you love them I never got that back not once from him even when I got diagnosed with Crohn’s disease I got really sick he was never the caring type .he has never stayed in the hosp with me.he always acted as if i was a burden being sick and he felt negative abt the whole category of taking CARE of someone who is sick or mentally broken ….he was never the romantic type ..he never remembers birthdays and holidays to him are like a nuisance . I know I’m only pointing out the bad but there are lots of good that came from this 15 year relationship I grew up with him now I’ve learned a lot from him like patients and obedient . The amount of pain though that he has put me through to all these years he does not even realize and that hurts .are sex life was very good that might have been what kept us going and the fact that we didn’t have big argument or fight and that we were complete opposite in the way that complimented each other and we both shared the same addictions The years when on and he continued to sleep around thinking that he was so slick tricking me that I had no clue meanwhile I noticed every little detail and everytime he came back I knew but I still stayed we never argued much he was very quiet man I was the Capricorn Martial arts champ Newfoundland born and I started cheating on him as well just to do it out of spite and I would tell him afterwards I am not a cheater type I told him all it takes is one time and I will never trust you ever again well that happens and I still don’t trust him I’m 34 now and I just figured out in the past few years that the love of my life is a narcissist I am an empath and I could just sit here and tell you but my whole story but this would be never ending this is why I’m writing a book about it and my childhood when I was torture abused but that’s another part of my life that I’m not getting into at the moment I just want you to know that you’re not alone love is the most painful thing that I have endured in this life. Life brings love and love brings pain and pain brings new life . New lessons to learn.. without the bad there would be no good there would jus be nothing …and then there would be No Point. Yin yang. Karma . LIFE … if you want to contact me or have any questions my email address is cherylhedderson@gmail.com

      • psychictxt Reply

        Hello Maria , In order to get advice from one of our psychic advisors you will have to download our app from the Apple App Store or the Google Play Store. You can then choose one of our many honest and accurate advisors and either send them a text or talk to them in real time through live chat. First time users get free credit to try our service and connect with the advisor of their choosing. We hope you get the answers you are looking for. Good luck- From PsychicTxt

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